Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt.
"Why don't you go to the drug store?" His friend suggested. "There's a computer there that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor! You just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill was intrigued, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Bill was amazed.
Later that evening Bill was still thinking about how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever. Then he began to wonder if this machine, being JUST a machine, could be incorrect about a diagnosis, or even fooled.
To test it, he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and then to top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They are not yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
"Why don't you go to the drug store?" His friend suggested. "There's a computer there that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor! You just put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill was intrigued, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Bill was amazed.
Later that evening Bill was still thinking about how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever. Then he began to wonder if this machine, being JUST a machine, could be incorrect about a diagnosis, or even fooled.
To test it, he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and then to top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They are not yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Labels: joke
posted by Alex at
1:55 AM
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